The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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