I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize