Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
