wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
