dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Randomize
