I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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