his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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