I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She announced her abortion via fbk
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
