Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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