ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
