Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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