You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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