i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
