So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
