So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
