i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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