when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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