he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
