If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
