i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
