have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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