I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
