I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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