There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
