What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
