I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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