i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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