I am in a vortex of obligation.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A+ Viking dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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