that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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