it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
