I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
