He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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