i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
