do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
