Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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