I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How does one acquire holy water?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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