it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
