I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
