porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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