If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
