But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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