Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize