I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
