Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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