I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
