took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
