it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
