a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
