I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
