hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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