can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
