You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
