foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
