When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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