You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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