So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
