you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
