i'm lost and i look like a hooker
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
