watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
