I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
